Being pals with an ex isn’t straightforward, however scientists say there are seven key the reason why we are drawn to take action.
A study – carried out by Justin Mogilski and Lisa Welling at Oakland College – just lately revealed within the journal Character and Individual Variations requested 348 volunteers to listing as many causes as attainable for why two former companions may need to remain buddies. This resulted in 153 reasons.
A second group was then enlisted to fee each cause on a scale of 1 to five and in addition completed character questionnaires. From this researchers, have been left with seven key reasons.
1. Sentimentality, eg ‘They made me a better individual” or because you went via so much together, good or dangerous
2. Pragmatism eg “They have some huge cash or supply transportation to certain locations”
three. Continued romantic attracttion, eg nonetheless having emotions for one another
four. Youngsters or shared assets reminiscent of a pet, property or a automotive
5. Diminished sexual attraction which makes it easier to have a platonic relationship
6. Social relationship maintenance, eg having buddies in widespread and minimising drama
7. Sexual access, to keep having sex with them
The research also found that those with certain character traits have been more more likely to be linked to sure categories. People who experience greater unfavorable emotions are typically stay pals with exes for reliability/sentimentality reasons, and continued romantic attraction. This could possibly be as a result of they endure extra misery during a break-up, so holding in touch with their former companion may make them feel better. Extravert women and men have been extra more likely to keep a post-relationship friendship due to sex. Men are extra probably than ladies to stay keep a platonic relationship with an ex because of this, too.
Unsurprisingly, typically, a friendship with an ex was described as more tense and fraught than these with different pals. each individual ascribed extra adverse qualities to their ex than they did different buddies. Primarily, you’ll be able to keep pals with an ex, nevertheless it typically comes at a worth.