Why Narcissists Hoover And Remain Friends With Exes

Posted on

Be mindful of when you’re tempted to romanticize your former partner at the risk of your own safety. Note if your toxic ex-partner is attempting to hoover and re-write the reality of the abuse: this is known as gaslighting and it can easily ensnare someone back into a toxic relationship. Examine the wounds at the root of your addiction to your former partner. Know that these need to be addressed in order for healing to begin and for you to “detox” fully from this person.

The next time you’re wondering why a narcissistic ex has reached out to claim that they miss you, remember that their stated reasons are unlikely to be true. It’s more likely that they simply miss having control over you, access to your various resources and the power they wielded in the relationship.

References

Carnell, S. (2012, May 14). Bad Boys, Bad Brains. Psychology Today. Retrieved November 16, 2017, from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/bad-appetite/201205/bad-boys-bad-brains

Carnes, P. (2015). Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships. Health Communications, Incorporated.

Earp, B. D., Wudarczyk, O. A., Foddy, B., & Savulescu, J. (2017). Addicted to Love: What Is Love Addiction and When Should It Be Treated? Philosophy, Psychiatry, & Psychology, 24(1), 77-92. doi:10.1353/ppp.2017.0011

Fisher, H. E., Brown, L. L., Aron, A., Strong, G., & Mashek, D. (2010). Reward, Addiction, and Emotion Regulation Systems Associated With Rejection in Love. Journal of Neurophysiology, 104(1), 51-60. doi:10.1152/jn.00784.2009

Mogilski, J. K., & Welling, L. L. (2017). Staying friends with an ex: Sex and dark personality traits predict motivations for post-relationship friendship. Personality and Individual Differences, 115, 114-119. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2016.04.016

Schneider, A. (2017). Don’t Get Sucked Back into the Vortex: Hoovering Is Not A Compliment. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 10, 2018, from https://blogs.psychcentral.com/savvy-shrink/2017/11/dont-get-sucked-back-into-the-vortex-hoovering-is-not-a-compliment/

Tourjée, D. (2016, May 10). Narcissists and Psychopaths Love to Stay Friends with Their Exes. Retrieved August 10, 2018, from https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/ezjy3m/narcissists-and-psychopaths-love-to-stay-friends-with-their-exes

Featured image licensed via Shutterstock.

Source link