This Breakup Advice From 5 Therapists Will Help You Move On Smoothly

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Consider how it’s impacting your body, and treat yourself accordingly.

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“Sometimes I ask clients to choose some descriptive words for what they’re feeling and how these feelings manifest in the body,” says according to Anne Beverly, counselor in residence at Bluebird Counseling Center. “If they are feeling achy, I might recommend they get a massage. Massage therapy can be a good tool for someone who will be transitioning from touching their partner all the time to living without a lot of physical touch.”

Find something that you enjoy, and learn more about it.

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“Distraction is also effective in helping clients to heal,” says Beverly. “I’ve had clients throw themselves into learning the guitar, painting, or learning a language. Doing something novel activates new and different parts of the brain, plus it’s a chance to be creative or even meet new people.”

It could be healing to find something that you love doing that has no connection to your former partner. Having an activity that is not only distracting but also has no connection to your former partner could really help soothe your heartache.

Get to know yourself better.

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“There is always something new to learn and grow from when you go through something like a breakup,” says Molly Lyda, MA, life coach, MFT, LPCC. Recovering from heartbreak really does make you stronger because you are forced to look at the reasons you’re hurting and the reasons you love yourself.

“Breakups are an opportunity to love and advocate for yourself in ways you may have never done before. That alone has a powerful effect on your sense of self,” says Lyda. She recommends to be tender with yourself, and have patience regarding how you’re healing.

Unfollow, unfollow, unfollow.

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“I think that it’s really important to unfollow and unfriend your ex across social media platforms,” says Bradford. She thinks this is vital to your healing because a lot of the time, if you have access to an ex’s social media, it becomes easy to build a narrative for how they are doing. “Usually these narratives are incomplete at best and most often inaccurate. You can’t focus on what you need to do to take care of yourself if you are still trying to see how your ex is spending their days via a social media highlight reel,” she says. If you’re not entirely ready to unfriend or unfollow your ex, consider starting by muting your ex’s social media so it doesn’t appear in your feed when you’re not expecting it.

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