The Five New Love Languages

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Being On Time

For those of you who fall into this category, it’s important to you when people are…not late. This one is literal. Unfortunately, the only thing that matters to you is people showing up when they say they will. I guess you could call it “honesty,” but you get so extremely irritated when people are late it’s like they’ve physically harmed you. If your love language is “Being on Time” you can benefit from “chilling out.” These people are often caught saying, “back in the day,” and  complaining about millennials. 

Spotify Playlists

People with the love language Spotify Playlists welcome thoughtful gestures. They might seem aloof, but that’s because they’re on their phone too much or have in their headphones and aren’t paying attention to you. It’s tough to connect with these people IRL. Get online and hook up, baby!

Tagging You In Instagram Posts

This love language is similar to GIFs, but people who value this most are usually a bit goofier. It means the world to them when they open their Instagram to see someone has been thinking about them. It really doesn’t take more than that for them to feel valued. Just the fact that they were remembered is enough (brave new world). They’re low-maintenance and appreciate a good laugh every now and then. 

Remembering Your Starbucks Order

To these folks, love and partnerships are all about the details. They’re not big picture people and they’re not tea folks. Don’t forget that. They also respond well to brands. There is a reason they go to Starbucks and not the hipster bullshit cafe that takes seven minutes to make a latte. 

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