Here’s one thing Meghan Markle and Prince Harry won’t have to worry about running out of during the royal wedding: forks. Or at least the word “fork,” written in metallic sharpie all over Windsor Castle. This week, the UK’s Express reported that a mysterious vandal has apparently been running around the location of the royal wedding spray-painting every conceivable surface with the word “fork.” As of Monday, the word “fork” has been written more than 150 times—and counting.
According to Express, the locals are extremely unhappy about the cutlery attack, so much so that the police reportedly have one officer dedicated to adding up the cost of the items and areas vandalized so they can charge the artist in question upon their arrest. So far, Express reported, the damage has racked up “tens of thousands of pounds,” and local businesses have had to invest in cleaning up or painting over the graffiti.
“It is fair to say this bloke is forking us off big time because as far as we are concerned, we have our work cut out already on the big day,” a Windsor Police source reportedly (and hilariously) told Express. But it’s not just the populace that’s miffed—the Queen of England is reportedly super ticked off as well. “We have been told that if there is so much as a single ‘FORK’ on the walls of Windsor Castle that the queen will blow a gasket, so we are guarding it very well,” the source added.
As for who could possibly have the time to write “fork” all over the royal wedding space, the police reportedly have some culprits in mind—two, to be exact. “We are searching for two teenage offenders who have nearly been caught on a number of occasions and we have CCTV operators going through a lot of footage,” the source told Express.