Maid of Honour Almost Ruined Wedding

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She was there at the wedding—at least for some of it. Throughout the day, Kaitlin disappeared at inopportune moments. When it was time to take pictures or when we sat down to eat, she was nowhere to be found. She wore enormous Beats headphones at the dinner table. I’d never seen this sort of behaviour from her before. It was weird, and somewhat disturbing. But at that point, nothing surprised me. Other people raised eyebrows, but no one wanted to be rude and comment. And she offered no explanation for her behaviour. By then, I didn’t have time or energy to ask, I just tried to ignore her and enjoy my day anyway. Near the end of the reception—as my other bridesmaid, Cassie, was making her toast—Kaitlin had the nerve to confront me. “Why was I not asked to make a toast?” she demanded to know. It wasn’t worth explaining—not then, not ever. I’d had enough. I told her, “Just let it go.”

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Sometime after that, as the cake was being cut, Kaitlin left—with my phone and the key to our honeymoon suite in her purse. My husband and I spent the last hour of our wedding trying to track her down. By midnight, when she still hadn’t returned any of our calls, I was seriously worried. I was afraid that something terrible had happened; I worried, perhaps irrationally, that she’d hurt herself.

We found out later that Kaitlin had gone back uptown to meet up with one of the guys she was seeing. Cassie—who was staying at her apartment—walked in to find some guy fingering Kaitlin on the couch.

Cassie retrieved my phone for me. Kaitlin dropped the key off to the hotel in the morning. She and I haven’t talked since. Two months later, I’ve thought of reaching out. After all, she had once been my best friend. She’s in all my wedding photos! I wanted closure. The whole situation felt so weird and still doesn’t sit right.

Then I thought better of it. I hear it’s not unusual for brides to lose friends after the wedding—and maybe that’s ok. Not all friendships, I’ve learned, are worth hanging on to.

*Names have been changed