Maid of Honour Almost Ruined Wedding

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After Andrew proposed, Kaitlin grew distant. When she and I talked, we avoided discussing the wedding. I felt sorry for her—I was getting exactly what we both wanted, but her life hadn’t changed at all. Still, there was no question that Kaitlin would be my maid of honour. After all, she was my best friend—she had been there through my last break up, as well as when Andrew and I first met. She had witnessed the start of our relationship. And she wasn’t just my friend, I thought, but Andrew’s also.

But as I started planning my wedding, Kaitlin grew increasingly detached. When I asked her to come and decorate cupcakes for the engagement party, she said she was busy. She showed little interest in helping me pick out my dress. It was typical Kaitlin behaviour, but it hurt more now that I needed her. She wasn’t just my best friend anymore; she was my maid of honour. With that honour, I thought, came responsibility. I had the unrealistic hope that Kaitlin would eventually step up.

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At my engagement party, Kaitlin appeared anxious and out of place. Three-quarters of the way through the night, she disappeared. She snuck off to one of the upstairs bedrooms, where she said she’d been reading a book. That was just a precursor of what was to come.


I had the unrealistic hope that Kaitlin would eventually step up.

A day or two before our big day, Andrew and I wrote Kaitlin out of helping with the logistics of the wedding. She still had a part to read during the ceremony, but other than that, we reassigned her responsibilities to others. It wasn’t a punishment so much as out of fear she wouldn’t show up.

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