My ideal situation was having my boyfriend wait for me at home while I was off kissing strangers in sketchy dive bars. In an ideal word, my boyfriend would have understood my need to be free. But that doesn’t happen in reality.
In reality, I lied. I was “in a relationship” only when my boyfriend was present. I was a bad girlfriend. I openly admit this.
On top of all of this, I’m pretty transparent about my habits and the insatiability that stems from my deep-seated FOMO. But every guy who comes my way is positive that he will be the guy to change me. He will be the guy to make me give up my cheating ways.
I had to wonder what was so wrong with me that I felt compelled to cheat on my boyfriends. I had to question why I never really felt guilty.
I came to realize that everything had to do with the tepid feelings I had for the men I was dating. I didn’t care enough about my relationships to not risk ruining them. I didn’t respect my partners enough to treat them like they were my partners.
After a lot of contemplation, I’ve become absolutely sure that if you love someone and respect someone enough, you cannot cheat on that person. You simply cannot. It would kill you.
Let’s talk about respect.
It all comes down to respect. If you truly respect the person you’ve committed to, you will never be able to cheat on him or her. You would just not be capable of doing that to someone you care deeply about.
For the first time in my crazy, messed-up love life, I believe that I am truly in love — madly, head-over-heels kind of love. The difference with this relationship is that I have a deep and profound respect for my boyfriend.
He treats me beautifully, he challenges me, and he is there for me whenever I need him. He is my best friend. I’m repulsed by the thought of letting another guy touch me. It makes my skin crawl.
The idea of hurting someone I respect so much breaks my heart. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. The only time I would do something like that would be if I didn’t honor him the way that I do.
If you cheat on your partner, you do not respect him or her enough not to betray stray. You may as well leave now. Your infidelity is all the proof you need that the two of you are not right for each other.