Take the time to talk things out and don’t let anything start to drive a wedge between you. Any little thing over time can turn into a big thing. Take care of the little things and I think the big things will take care of themselves.
Also, LAUGH at yourselves. Don’t take yourself to seriously. You are going to mess up.
I remember one week we had thing after thing going wrong. From flooding a rental kitchen with dishwasher bubbles to me having a car accident. I’m not saying a car accident is something to laugh about but we just couldn’t allow ourselves to dwell on the negative. When you’ve got something going wrong, look at all the things you’ve got going right! Just laugh at yourself and together as often as you can.
Lastly, seek counsel and ask advice from older people.
Just because we got married didn’t mean we all of a sudden knew what we were doing. Praise God we had so many awesome marriages around us to look at. We did marriage counseling with my preacher and another incredible older couple we look up to and learned SO much.
Their wisdom has kept us from learning things the hard way. Even after we got married we would talk with John Luke’s aunt and uncle when we needed help with something we were dealing with. I’ve learned the importance of remembering and hanging onto the little nuggets of wisdom my mom and John Luke’s mom have said or even just something I’ve watched them live out.
We’re never too old to stop learning and stop growing.
We’re never too old to stop learning and stop growing. Click To Tweet
Okay, isn’t MK the bomb? I hope you now love her as much as I do! I am so happy to share a bit of her story and insight because I feel like I relate to her so much! I got married relatively young as well (the year after I graduated college), so I can relate to a lot of what she faced and has experienced, too.
Anyway, if you take nothing else away from this, I hope you learned the following:
1. There is no “perfect” way or “perfect” time. Don’t wedge yourself in to a category or box like that.
It’s about finding God’s best, not the Perfect Man. Click To Tweet
2. Don’t rush into marriage but don’t be afraid of it. If it happens to you earlier in life, great! If it happens to you later in life, great! God’s timing is perfect and if you obsess so much over the timing verses the purpose, you’ll end up regretting your choices.
3. Check your motives. Do you want to get married to avoid loneliness or love the Lord more?
4. Your life doesn’t end after marriage nor does it begin. It’s simply a new chapter.
5. Don’t suck the life out of each other regardless of when you get married. While it’s important to build in quality time, nurture relationship, and get plugged into community together, it’s equally important to have your own interests, friends, etc.
6. Don’t obsess so much over finding THE ONE and focus more on GLORIFYING GOD. If you happen to find ONE person that can do that with you, double win!
7. If you find a quality man that honors you, pursues God, connects with you, and loves people well, you have found a good fit. It’s about finding God’s best, not the Perfect Man.
8. Regardless of how old you are, seek counsel from those who have gone before you! If you’re not sure about the person you’re dating, ask those in your life that you trust what they think (preferably trusted mentors!). It’s not about figuring it all out on your own or having all the answers. It is WISE to ask those who have gone before you for help, wisdom, and counsel.
I pray this insight blessed you, your relationship, and your heart!
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