How To Know If He’s “The One” (& Thoughts on Getting Married Young)

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Seriously, how DO you know if he’s the one? How DO you know when it’s the right time to get married–or if you even should?

Society seems to shout, “Don’t get married until you’re older! Don’t throw your life away at a young age! Get your career started! Focus on you!’

And sometimes Christian circles make girls feel like they have to find a “perfect” man with statements like, “Do not settle!”

While those statements are well-meaning, they can twist our thinking because the fact is: all humans are imperfect so outside of God, we are settling for less than perfection. Both messages scream, “put yourself first” and “don’t settle for less than you deserve,” but Jesus told us to put ourselves last.

It’s almost as if Christians and non-Christians alike have this unrealistic expectation of perfect marriage and ideal people instead of a focus on God and His narrative of unity and sacrifice. Maybe it’s not so much about not settling so much as it is about intentional choices, commitment, and godliness, and sacrifice.

Abide Devotional for Women

That’s what I hope to help you intersect today so that you can discern where you are in life right now–and where your heart is.

We need to look at what GOD says and the love story HE has written for your life. Because there is no perfect love story other than the love story He’s written for Christ and you–His bride, His body, His church.

There is no perfect love story other than the love story God has written for you Click To Tweet
God has a beautiful design for marriage and we have an opportunity to steward it well! But we need to be wise and intentional in the dating, discernment, and decision making process so that the relationship can flourish–regardless of how old we are.

So, I am SO excited have my friend, Mary Kate Robertson, on the blog today.

MaryKate married Duck Dynasty star, John Luke, at age 19 and has so sweetly shared a piece of her story to help breakthrough society’s negative stigma of young marriage as well as help answer questions like, “How do I know he’s the one?”

So, here’s what she has to say:

1. How’s a girl to know if he’s “the one?”

I really don’t know what that means. I mean, I do, but I don’t remember thinking a lot around that term.

If you’ve kept up with me for a while, or really at all, you’ve probably heard me use the term “God’s best” more than “the one.”

For me it just means looking, listening, and waiting on God for what He has for me. I knew from the Bible that God wanted me to be equally yoked, which means He wanted me to be with someone who was on the same page as me spiritually.

The man is the spiritual leader in a marriage, so I knew I couldn’t be the one pulling him along spiritually, even in just a dating relationship.

So, I waited on a guy that was head-over-heels in love with the Lord first. When I say “waiting,” I wasn’t just sitting around doing nothing expecting for the right guy to come in and sweep me off my feet. I was pursuing the Lord.

To this day, that period of time with the Lord when I was single was one of the sweetest seasons. God came in when I was wanting to be loved by a boy, and showed me how much He loved me and cared for me.

God came in when I was wanting to be loved by a boy, and showed me how much He loved me and cared for me. Click To Tweet
I learned a lot about trusting God then and became very content in Him as a young girl.

Thanksgiving gifts and favors

Looking back, it seems like when I truly became content in Him was when John Luke came into the picture.

When John Luke showed up his love for God was undeniable. It wasn’t just something he talked about, it was something he lived out. Some boys know what Christian girls want them to say but you just have to see if their actions are lining up–not just with how they treat you but with how they treat others, especially in hard situations.

I saw John Luke baptize people, love his friends, and pick strangers up on the side of the road to give them a ride. And he always had a genuine smile on his face.

I think it’s easy to get caught up in the term “the one,” but maybe think of it like this instead:

Our sole purpose on earth is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever (Psalm 86:9).

Our sole purpose on earth is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever (Psalm 86:9). Click To Tweet
That’s our goal in all aspects of life, including marriage, right?

Then, you can ask yourself:

With this person am I able to glorify God more?”

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