Dawn Masler, love biologist and author of Men Chase, Women Choose, says, “We really don’t have an exact time for when two people fall in love.” Masler’s take is different from Dr. Arthur Aron’s, who famously designed those 36 questions to make people fall in love with each other after a single encounter.
The idea behind Dr. Aron’s experiment is that if you answer a series of increasingly intimate questions with a stranger, followed immediately by four, silent minutes of staring into their eyes, you would both fall in love. Although, I’ve never tried this myself, I’ve always wanted to believe in it. Like others have pointed out, answering the 36 love questions makes falling in love seem more like an active decision rather than a passive happenstance.
The truth is, falling in love is actually biological. Masler explains, for example, that love at first sight is a fallacy. She tells Elite Daily, “Love at first sight is not love; it’s lust. The neurotransmitter norepinephrine causes those butterfly feelings and sweating palms.”
She adds, “It’s like a fight or flight response, which is temporary… So, love at first sight gets you into bed quickly and then wears off.”