After Watching the ‘Hypothetical’ O.J. Simpson Confession, I Realize White People Were Right All Along

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O.J. Simpson n Clark County District Court on May 15, 2013, in Las Vegas
Photo: Jeff Scheid (Getty Images)

They say the mark of an enlightened man is that he can objectively consider new information, rethink his position and admit when he’s wrong. Today I am here to admit to white America that I was totally wrong about Orenthal James Simpson. (I know using “white” as an adjective to describe “America” is redundant, but I just want to make sure I acknowledge the Caucasians who “built this country” because—aside from history books, movies, television, literature, the national narrative and Donald Trump rallies—you rarely receive the credit you are due. Big ups to you.)

On Sunday night, Fox News reignited the ire of white people who are still dumbstruck that a man could get away with an obvious murder when the decidedly unfair and mentally imbalanced network aired a decade-old interview of O.J. Simpson appearing to confess, in which he laid out how he might have, theoretically, murdered his ex-wife Nicole Brown and her friend Ron Goldman.

White America, I am now on your side. I couldn’t have been more wrong. You were right all along.

White people hate O.J. For them, he is evil incarnate. After all, if a black man could get away with killing a white woman in a wealthy neighborhood, how could anyone feel safe?

I can’t fathom how black-hearted I must have seemed back in 1995 when I applauded the O.J. verdict. I now realize how upset you guys must have felt to see a cold-blooded killer like O.J. get set free. Well, actually, I forgot that I felt those same emotions after the George Zimmerman acquittal.

And the Betty Shelby trial.

And the Philando Castile decision.

And the decision not to indict Darren Wilson for the shooting death of Michael Brown Jr.

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