life on your own terms

7 Things You Have to Stop Believing to Live a Successful Life On Your Own Terms

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2.  Cease believing that you must feel extra assured earlier than you’re taking the subsequent step.

Most individuals misinterpret how confidence works.  They assume confidence is something they should possess earlier than they will carry out at their greatest.  In order that they make a (subconscious) determination to wait till they feel more confident before taking the subsequent step.  But ready around isn’t a confidence-building exercise, in order that they by no means really feel more assured, they usually never take action.

Let this be your wake-up call…

Confidence isn’t a prerequisite to current and future efficiency.  Fairly, confidence is a direct bi-product of previous performance.

For example, for those who start your day on the appropriate foot, you’re more likely to have improved confidence all through the remainder of your day.  Conversely, for those who start your day poorly and fall flat in your face, that prior efficiency will possible decrease your confidence for a short while (until your confidence degree inevitably cycles once more).

However the actual kicker is the truth that in the present day is tomorrow’s past.  Your confidence going into tomorrow is immediately depending on you taking constructive motion at this time and learning from it.  And this means two things…

  1. You possibly can leverage your present actions to improve your future confidence.
  2. Forcing your self to take the subsequent step is step one to feeling more confident.

So everytime you catch your self waiting around for extra confidence to magically arrive earlier than you start working on the duty in entrance of you, remind yourself of how confidence works, after which pressure your self to start out before you are feeling prepared.

Again in 2006 Angel and I started the blog that may finally develop into Marc and Angel Hack Life.  We didn’t know the best way to design an internet site.  We didn’t know what a weblog was.  We didn’t even really know how one can write very nicely.  All we knew have been 5 issues:

  • We just lately misplaced two family members, unexpectedly, to illness and suicide.
  • We have been struggling in our private and professional lives.
  • We would have liked an outlet.
  • We have been captivated with writing, and enhancing our writing.
  • We had not been writing sufficient.

How did we study to start out an internet site and build a blog?  How did we find the arrogance needed to take action?  Similar approach anyone else does it.  Little by little, step-by-step, one web page at a time.

You begin studying and studying.  You make selections and take action.  You make errors.  You study some more.  You attempt again.  You get a bit of better.  You get somewhat extra confident.  You study some more.  You make extra selections and take more action…

And earlier than we knew it, we have been running a blog every day on Marc and Angel Hack Life.

This course of is on the core of all efficient confidence-building and goal-achieving initiatives, and it’s some of the important expertise you have to develop to achieve life.  It doesn’t matter if you want to be a blogger, an entrepreneur, an artist, or the CEO of a Fortune 500 firm.  Study to start out earlier than you are feeling ready, and you will discover ways to succeed, step-by-step, before you even understand that you simply’re ok.

At the moment is the day!

It’s time to set your plans into movement and make a daily ritual of generating small wins for yourself.  Achieve this, and I assure that your small wins will add up shortly, and you’ll grow extra confident and nearer to what you finally need to achieve with every passing day.

three.  Cease believing that extra (and extra) planning and considering will yield you higher outcomes.

Just as you don’t need extra confidence to take the subsequent smallest step forward, you don’t doubtless need more planning and overthinking either.

Stephen King as soon as stated, “Amateurs sit and look forward to inspiration, the remainder of us just rise up and go to work.”  I have that quote taped above my work desk.  It jogs my memory that whereas proper planning, strategizing and masterminding is essential as you progress by way of a challenge, it’s additionally extraordinarily straightforward to lose yourself indefinitely in doing so.

When our nice ideas are nonetheless just ideas floating round in our minds, we are likely to assume really BIG.  And whereas considering huge isn’t inherently dangerous, the downside is that it typically makes the barrier for taking action fairly excessive.  In other words, we are likely to overthink our tasks to the point the place they seem more difficult than they really are, and so we stall repeatedly to offer ourselves extra time to organize for the subsequent step.

To keep away from “massive considering paralysis,” pare your ideas down into smaller, immediately testable actions.  Are you able to trial-run the thought of a bigger scale conference by internet hosting a collection of smaller native occasions (identical to Angel and I did to organize for Think Better, Live Better)?  Can you’re taking an concept for a e-book and check it by writing a number of associated weblog posts (identical to Angel and I did with 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently)?  Can you draw it earlier than you construct it?  Are you able to prototype it?  Once you’ve tested your concept on a smaller scale, you’ll have the insight and knowledge it’s essential take your concept and undertaking to the subsequent degree.

The concept of taking motion, only one step at a time, might sound ridiculously obvious, but sooner or later all of us get caught up within the moment and find ourselves over-planning and overthinking issues.  Our minds are working onerous but nothing is getting achieved.  Angel and I’ve seen this transpire tons of of occasions through the years – a coaching client/course student needs to realize an enormous aim, and may’t choose just one or two essential steps to give attention to, so nothing worthwhile ever will get carried out.  Let this be a reminder to you.  Remind your self that you could’t carry a thousand kilos all of sudden, but you possibly can simply raise one pound a thousand occasions.  Small, repeated, incremental efforts will get you there.  It doesn’t occur immediately, nevertheless it does occur so much quicker than not getting there in any respect.  More on this under…

4.  Stop believing that focusing extra in your objectives is the answer.

Angel and I’ve talked about this numerous occasions up to now, nevertheless it’s so darn necessary that it might’t probably be overstated…

Objectives don’t make constructive modifications occur, day by day rituals do.

Significantly, meditate on that for a second.

As a result of too typically we obsess ourselves with an enormous aim – an enormous end end result – but are utterly unfocused with regards to the ritual – the recurring steps – that finally make the objective happen.  And so the load of this huge, unrealized aim sits heavy on our thoughts and brings our progress right down to a crawl.

Does that sound at all acquainted?

In that case, it’s time to shift your focus AWAY from your objectives.  Think about this…

In the event you utterly ignored considered one of your objectives for the subsequent few weeks and as an alternative targeted solely on the every day rituals that reinforce this objective, would you continue to get constructive results?

For instance, should you have been making an attempt to shed pounds and you ignored your aim to lose 25 kilos, and as an alternative targeted solely on eating healthy and exercising every day, would you still get outcomes?

YES, you’d!  Steadily, you’d get closer and nearer to your aim without even desirous about it.

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