7 things they don’t tell you about first dates

Posted on

And my definitive First Dates lesson for you? Just relax. Yours will never be as shocking as this one of mine

My flatmate’s boyfriend’s flatmate invited me to his house for dins. He was cooking.

As the food baked, he said he needed to go to the launderette. For some reason (because I was young and stupid), I agreed to go with him.

As I sat inhaling the bio fumes, fella-me-lad rang his dad. On a payphone.

‘Hello’, he said to his papa. And then, immediately after the greeting, he told him about my tits. ‘Yes’, he said, ‘I bet she can get them in her mouth.’

Reader, I dumped him. (But not before I went back to his for some delicious toad-in-the-hole.)

Bibi Lynch thinks dating sucks. She thinks a lot of things suck. She writes about the suckers at www.bibilynch.com.

MORE: 5 things I wish I’d known about getting older

MORE: People are now ghosting each other at work and it’s because they’re too scared to say no

MORE: 8 things that always happen when you go to a wedding on your own

Source link